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Monday, 21 May 2018
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rndmnmbr said @ 12:15am GMT on 22nd May
As one of those kids who could have been a school shooter...
I had it all. The boiling anger at the "injustices" meted out to me, the social disconnect that let me consider such an act, the despair that nothing and no one cared or mattered, and the easy access to guns. And I think the deepest reason I didn't was that I lacked the will.
There is a reason why school shooters almost always commit suicide at the end of their spree. School shooting is an act of suicide in of itself. The media told me that women and wealth and power are given away for free to everyone, but I wondered why I hadn't gotten mine yet. Everyone harped on about how I was so smart, implying that all I needed for success was built-in, but where was that success? Was there something wrong with the way I was made, that such obvious rewards were continually denied to me? Did the universe that heaped such riches on everyone else not care about me? Have I been lied to all this time?
No one, or at least no one I would have listened to, bothered to sit me down and tell me the truth: I had been lied to, and lied to myself even more. Intelligence was useless without work ethic; everything that I believed would be given to me I would actually have to earn the hard way, whether through hard work and sacrifice for money and power or through changing my selfish, petulant, entitled behavior into something women liked and wanted for relationships; I was young and impatient and had a long life ahead of me to achieve my goals; the media I consumed was lying to me about how difficult life really was, partially because it was escapist fantasy but mostly because it was trying to sell me something; that the world is unfair and unjust and any fairness and justice I sought I would have to find within myself.
And that I should not despair. I was not alone in struggling with my sense of self-esteem and worth - everyone around me was struggling with the same things. Some had it easier than me, by virtue of economic circumstances and better mental health, but they struggled nonetheless, caught in that terrible transition from the selfish nature of childhood to the selfless requirements and sacrifice of adulthood.
And I feel a tiny amount of sympathy for the shooters (but let's be clear, not as much as I feel disgust and antipathy for their actions). They're stuck in the thoughts of adolescence, can't find the needed trigger to bring them to the adult understanding of what the rewards of life will actually cost, and despair. And they hold a gun to the world, partially because the media they consume glorifies senseless violence, partially because they feel it's the only way to make any kind of mark on a senseless and unfair universe, but mostly to end the pain and despair they're consumed with.
rndmnmbr said @ 12:21am GMT on 22nd May
As one of those kids who could have been a school shooter...
I had it all. The boiling anger at the "injustices" meted out to me, the social disconnect that let me consider such an act, the despair that nothing and no one cared or mattered, and the easy access to guns. And I think the deepest reason I didn't was that I lacked the will.
There is a reason why school shooters almost always commit suicide at the end of their spree. School shooting is an act of suicide in of itself. The media told me that women and wealth and power are given away for free to everyone, but I wondered why I hadn't gotten mine yet. Everyone harped on about how I was so smart, implying that all I needed for success was built-in, but where was that success? Was there something wrong with the way I was made, that such obvious rewards were continually denied to me? Did the universe that heaped such riches on everyone else not care about me? Have I been lied to all this time?
No one, or at least no one I would have listened to, bothered to sit me down and tell me the truth: I had been lied to, and lied to myself even more. Intelligence was useless without work ethic; only the foundations of everything I needed to succeed was built-in and I would have to consciously develop the needed skills and maturity to attain that much-desired success; everything that I believed would be given to me I would actually have to earn the hard way, whether through hard work and sacrifice for money and power or through changing my selfish, petulant, entitled behavior into something women liked and wanted for relationships; I was young and impatient and had a long life ahead of me to achieve my goals; the media I consumed was lying to me about how difficult life really was, partially because it was escapist fantasy but mostly because it was trying to sell me something; that the world is unfair and unjust and any fairness and justice I sought I would have to find within myself.
And that I should not despair. I was not alone in struggling with my sense of self-esteem and worth - everyone around me was struggling with the same things. Some had it easier than me, by virtue of economic circumstances and better mental health, but they struggled nonetheless, caught in that terrible transition from the selfish nature of childhood to the selfless requirements and sacrifice of adulthood.
And I feel a tiny amount of sympathy for the shooters (but let's be clear, not as much as I feel disgust and antipathy for their actions). They're stuck in the thoughts of adolescence, can't find the needed trigger to bring them to the adult understanding of what the rewards of life will actually cost, and despair. And they hold a gun to the world, partially because the media they consume glorifies senseless violence, partially because they feel it's the only way to make any kind of mark on a senseless and unfair universe, but mostly to end the pain and despair they're consumed with.
<-- Entry / Current Comment
rndmnmbr said @ 12:15am GMT on 22nd May [Score:2]
As one of those kids who could have been a school shooter...
I had it all. The boiling anger at the "injustices" meted out to me, the social disconnect that let me consider such an act, the despair that nothing and no one cared or mattered, and the easy access to guns. And I think the deepest reason I didn't was that I lacked the will.
There is a reason why school shooters almost always commit suicide at the end of their spree. School shooting is an act of suicide in of itself. The media told me that women and wealth and power are given away for free to everyone, but I wondered why I hadn't gotten mine yet. Everyone harped on about how I was so smart, implying that all I needed for success was built-in, but where was that success? Was there something wrong with the way I was made, that such obvious rewards were continually denied to me? Did the universe that heaped such riches on everyone else not care about me? Have I been lied to all this time?
No one, or at least no one I would have listened to, bothered to sit me down and tell me the truth: I had been lied to, and lied to myself even more. Intelligence was useless without work ethic; only the foundations of everything I needed to succeed was built-in and I would have to consciously develop the needed skills and maturity to attain that much-desired success; everything that I believed would be given to me I would actually have to earn the hard way, whether through hard work and sacrifice for money and power or through changing my selfish, petulant, entitled behavior into something women liked and wanted for relationships; I was young and impatient and had a long life ahead of me to achieve my goals; the media I consumed was lying to me about how difficult life really was, partially because it was escapist fantasy but mostly because it was trying to sell me something; that the world is unfair and unjust and any fairness and justice I sought I would have to find within myself.
And that I should not despair. I was not alone in struggling with my sense of self-esteem and worth - everyone around me was struggling with the same things. Some had it easier than me, by virtue of economic circumstances and better mental health, but they struggled nonetheless, caught in that terrible transition from the selfish nature of childhood to the selfless requirements and sacrifice of adulthood.
And I feel a tiny amount of sympathy for the shooters (but let's be clear, not as much as I feel disgust and antipathy for their actions). They're stuck in the thoughts of adolescence, can't find the needed trigger to bring them to the adult understanding of what the rewards of life will actually cost, and despair. And they hold a gun to the world, partially because the media they consume glorifies senseless violence, partially because they feel it's the only way to make any kind of mark on a senseless and unfair universe, but mostly to end the pain and despair they're consumed with.
What are we doing to cause these kids to snap in a way/frequency that we never saw as kids.
Please see comment for my whole ramble, had to cut it down for size limits
What say you SE'ers? Is it the guns, is it something else, is it a combination? What is your thought on the core of the issue?