From Taylor Mali: Like Lilly Like Wilson

I’m writing the poem that will change the world, and it’s Lilly Wilson at my office door.
Lilly Wilson, the recovering like addict,
the worst I’ve ever seen.
So, like, bad the whole eighth grade
started calling her Like Lilly Like Wilson Like.
‘Until I declared my classroom a Like‐Free Zone,
and she could not speak for days.

But when she finally did, it was to say,
Mr. Mali, this is . . . so hard.
Now I have to think before I . . . say anything.

Imagine that, Lilly.

It’s for your own good.
Even if you don’t like . . .
it.

I’m writing the poem that will change the world,
and it’s Lilly Wilson at my office door.
Lilly is writing a research paper for me
about how homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed
to adopt children.
I’m writing the poem that will change the world,
and it’s Like Lilly Like Wilson at my office door.

She’s having trouble finding sources,
which is to say, ones that back her up.
They all argue in favor of what I thought I was against.

And it took four years of college,
three years of graduate school,
and every incidental teaching experience I have ever had
to let out only,

Well, that’s a real interesting problem, Lilly.
But what do you propose to do about it?

That’s what I want to know.

And the eighth-­‐grade mind is a beautiful thing;
Like a new-­‐born baby’s face, you can often see it
change before your very eyes.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, Mr. Mali,
but I think I’d like to switch sides.

And I want to tell her to do more than just believe it,
but to enjoy it!
That changing your mind is one of the best ways
of finding out whether or not you still have one.
Or even that minds are like parachutes,
that it doesn’t matter what you pack
them with so long as they open
at the right time.
O God, Lilly, I want to say
you make me feel like a teacher,
and who could ask to feel more than that?
I want to say all this but manage only,
Lilly, I am like so impressed with you!

So I finally taught somebody something,
namely, how to change her mind.
And learned in the process that if I ever change the world
it’s going to be one eighth grader at a time.

As if.

Shyeah! Right!

I must officially be old now, because I could not for the life of me (for the like of me?) get their examples to flow at all, whether verbally or mentally.
Un-fucking-believeable: No problem.
Scrum-diddly-umptious: Sure.
In-like-credible: How the fuck?

"For like ever" definitely flows better, arguably because it's not really an infix, since it's more of a discourse particle or hedge in the primitive phrase "for ever" and can be said the same as "for, like, a long time". With in-like-credible you have to just take it as an emphasis, the same as with fucking/bloody infixes, only I would put the verbal emphasis on the credible part, whereas fucking gets the verbal emphasis in un-fucking-believable.

Like: It's the new fuckin'.

Think silicon valley and valley girl. Honestly the infix thing for the word like was in southern california 30 years ago. I was taught that it wasn't proper English and I had become pervasive enough in my speach that I found it annoying. I cut it out almost entirely. The hedge way of using it has been around longer. I think the sentance adverb usage has probably been the latest and maybe helped propagate the other uses.

I really don't mind the over-use of like, and didn't get what all the hate was about, until I started to hear it as said by a californian. That lazy, slightly nasal, uneducated west coast porn star accent makes almost anything unlistenable, and it's very associated with the over-use of "like".