no.

Make it go away.

damn it, i have been doing it wrong!

Damn it.

My name is Tiffany.

Can I grab breakfast at your place? (no hetro)

Damn it, I am dating a Tiffany.

And I thought she was sane, oh well guess I better end it...

I need a lot more money.

Hi-Larious

thank you dolemite

I think they missed a section of the graph for women. Any guy who is extremely cute (with or without money) is gay or married (or both).

I dunno, there's something to be said for dating the homely. I used to love going out to bars with this woman who rated .3, maybe .35 silbers* in a good light because I knew I could take a leak and come back without worrying that someone would be chatting her up.


* my personal unit of feminine pulchritude, the silber is based on the most physically attractive woman I have ever met, circa 1992. Roughly 1,000 millihelens. While it represents the perfection of a brilliant and busty raven-haired goddess, it can he relative. The woman who toook my virginity got an extra .2 silbers added, for a total of 1.05.

I somehow picked up the advice to "always go for the bent card; she'll never leave you."

0.3S* is as low as I'm willing to go, and that's pretty much the floor as long as you have all your parts in the right places and reasonable hygiene.

*yeah, I've been there. From the neck down, think of Kathy Bates getting out of the hot tub in About Schmidt. From the neck up, think of a bulldog licking piss off a thistle. Still, as the Japanese say, where there's love, smallpox scars can look like dimples.

I still got kicked to the curb, mind you.

Damn it, I ended up watching this guys christmas videos.

This is the epitome of dad humor.